6 Months Post Mastectomy!

So 6 Months ago I was in the hospital my first night after my mastectomy dealing with my horrible arm pain, with no clue what was to come. 

Now that pain is competely gone luckily.  But geez this last 6 months has truly been unpleasant.  It could be worse though, and thats the important thing to remember, though it is hard for me to not think of how much happier I might have been with my results had I not had an infection. 

But really, who knows?  It wasn't like I ws particularly happy with them before I got the infection, but I still had hope of them being what I wanted them to be.

I had a happy surprise for my 6 month mark though!  I had an appointment with the plastic surgeon today, and he seemed really happy with how I was doing, and I got a fill!  WOOHOO!  Last appointment he had left me with very little hope, but now my hope is renewed... I know I'm still not getting the size I wanted originally, but atleast I might get a little bigger than I am now. 

We discussed how they're kind of like half filled bags of water... well exactly thats what they are he said.  When I lay on my side they do this weird wrinkle thing.  So that is partly because they're not full, and partly because my skin has kind of naturally stretched, so we weren't really filling to stretch my skin this time, but to fill the area thats there.  I asked if maybe between now and my surgery, my skin might stretch more "naturally" and be able to accomodate a bigger implant.  He thought that was unlikely, but he'll still TRY for the 350 cc implant (versus the 300). 

I also talked to him about how my left one is off center.  Its more towards the outside of my body than my right one, and I asked him if we could fix that in the exchange surgery.  He said we could TRY.  Good enough for me.  I know he doesn't want to build my expectations too high, as they tend to be very high to begin with.

New pictures posted of where I'm at and one showing the off center thing.

Funny (?)  thing, Its kind of hard to tell how numb something is by touching it yourself.  Because you can feel it with your fingers, but my nipples are TOTALLY numb.  My husband poked them today to see if I could feel. and NOTHING, if I hadn't been looking I would have no idea he was touching them at all. 

I've determined the discomfort I feel when getting a fill (which is very minor) must be the muscle reacting as the needle goes through it, because the skin does not feel the needle pierce it.

Anyway, these are all things I've been getting used to for the last 6 months, and really I feel the worst of it is is over and where I am at is not all that bad.  The pain is mostly gone.. I just get some pain on my sides (just below my armpits) when I do alot of work with my arms.  I can sleep on my sides and even on my stomach if I position the pillow/blankets right.  (I guess we'll see if thats any more difficult after this fill).  And even though I'm dealing with this autoimmune thing and scared about whats going on with that, the weight of the fear of breast cancer is off my shoulders.